No Star Ratings: REPO JAKE

JAKE WAS READY TO LIVE A QUIET LIFE...BUT THINGS JUST KEPT HOTTING UP

Director: Joseph Merhi

Writer: Joe Hart

Cast:Dan Haggerty, Dana Bentley, Steve Wilcox, Robert Axelrod

Certificate: 18

Running Time: 86 minutes

Release Date:1990 sometime

Review: Repo Man is the story of Jake Baxter, a man who personifies America. He covers his red neck with a blue collar, drinks American beer and listens to good ole time country blues. He doesn’t believe in shaving or using a knife when eating, he is all about the forks. Knives are strictly for picking locks, there is more knife-in-lock action in this film than you could ever dream of. Starring Dan “Grizzly Adams” Haggerty, we are first introduced to Jake as he arrives in LA from Minnesota, where he immediately helps out a damsel in distress. That’s the kind of guy Jake Baxter is. Jake moves into the same apartments as this damsel, Jenny and a relationship rather awkwardly and completely improbably blossoms.

For some reasons there is a midget up a ladder in this accommodation block, I thought this would be relevant later on, it was not.

The plot is so thin even Kate Moss would be urging it to put on weight. But then it has to be thin to accommodate the two-dimensional characters with such names as Waldo (a fat man), Jam (a rapper), Blondie (a blond haired man), Amos (an old man), Lippy (a loudmouthed man) and Skidmark (a shit).

Blondie is given special billing, he is played by Steve Wilcox, perhaps you remember him form such memorable roles as ‘Restaurant Robber’ in The Killer’s Edge (1990), ‘College Boyfriend’ in Samantha (1992), ‘1st Youth at Hot Dog Stand’ in White Man’s Burden (1995) or the scene stealing performance as “Undercover Cop #2’ in TV’s Walkout (2006).

Jake gets a job working, as you would imagine, for a repossession service. This introduces us to a series of hilarious repossessionsJake has to perform. For example in one Jake is knocked over and rides the bonnet of the car as the owner tries to shake him off. Despite various opportunities to dismount Jake decides not to, thus winning the respect of the man whose car he is trying to repossess, who hands him the keys.

At about the 25 minute point a plot begins to rear its ugly head. Jake has to earn $60, 000 fast or his house will be repossessed. There is a moving scene where Jake walks to the wall on the roof of a building, and then walks back again.

Wearing a tambourine as a necklace Jake settles down to a candlelit dinner with Jenny. After tasting her bad cooking (her words not mine) Jake conveniently remembers he has to perform a repossession, so off he goes, leaving Jenny literally with her head in her hands.

He returns home to enjoy a tasty meal of soup (from the saucepan Jake doesn’t just shun knives but bowls too) and bread alone, while watching a film of a man riding a horse on his TV which is only capable of displaying the colour blue. The director Joseph Mehri has an eye for such symbolism. In a later scene Skidmark or possibly Lippy enjoy a coital interaction with a young lady who does not want her trailer home repossessed. This is interspersed with some footage of dirt biking, make of this what you will.

This particular part of LA is home to the notorious Slam Track, a rather deadly race track of some kind, but what’s this, the winner of the race gets $75,000, aha! It is at the Slam Track we are introduced to repressed homosexual gangster and high-trousered porn baron “King” played by Robert Axelrod (tee hee etc.). King owes some other gangster some money, but more interestingly appears to employ Stan Lee to direct his porn films, Excelsior indeed!

In accordance with regulation 22.3b of the action movie regulations Jake dispenses of villains in conjunction with a witty line. Unfortunately only the baseline requirements are met in that the witty lines consist merely of a verb linked to the action the villain is performing followed by the word ‘this’. For example when hitting a man with a camera Jake utters the infamous line “Develop this!”

Jake owns the smallest deckchair ever constructed, I thought this would be relevant later on, it was not.

Jake has to repossess King's car, which he does, however this angers King who decides to interrupt Jake's romantic rooftop date with Jenny (in which he is telling her about his dead wife and how he could have been a contender). King's henchman hangs Jenny from a noose and threatens Jake, explaining how he is going to put a large bet on Jake to win the Slam Track. If he does not win, King will do something nasty to Jenny. Of course this puts Jake in an awkward position, on the one hand he wants to win the race and collect the $75, 000 prize money, but on the other hand if he does win the gangster will…no, wait. What?

Stick with it, the ending is a shocker and the party scene is worth the price of admission alone. And stay for the credits.

Repo Jake is a real gem of a film. A total 90’s cheese fest, made for TV action-o-rama. It’s not in the same league as Never Too Young To Die, but then what is. It is certainly high in the Championship. If you can pick up a copy in Poundland, like I did, then I would very much recommend it. It is a fun way for a few all-American guys to spend an afternoon.